“You would never see me in a church,” he says with a laugh and a smile. I laugh too. I know he is not joking. He doesn’t trust religious institutions. The thought of sitting in a church brings up strong feelings of discomfort. We’ve been meeting about once a week for the past month and today is no different. He enjoys talking to me about his perspective on God and faith. I welcome his anger, his questions, and his desire for a community that does not shun him. I listen.
He is not alone. I’ve met many who are disappointed with religion and untrusting of God’s people. Worship spaces can be vulnerable spaces. It’s heartbreaking to hear that, for some, church is a place of pain not healing; a place of hate not love; a place of where they have been pushed out; not welcomed. Their stories demonstrate that Christians have lots of work to do for others to know us by our love.
At The Well, the diocesan church plant in Bowie, we’ve started by meeting people where they are in their faith journey. Our Faith Conversations and Brunch gatherings have become spaces for heart meeting heart. Here, people realize that they are not alone. Their stories resonate with other faith seekers for whom church has not been a good fit—people who want a community of care and compassion and who struggle finding it. Here at The Well we are a community for the un-churched, the under-churched and the over-churched.
This is why I was so thrilled when a loving couple asked me to bless their children with holy oil instead of baptizing them. They wanted the community to pray with them in the way that they understand God. They were relieved when I said yes. They did not understand that their request was not unusual or unbiblical. They did not know that their faith, perspective and desire are acceptable.
Holy oil in The Episcopal Church is primarily used for baptisms, anointing the sick, ordination and consecration. It can also be used for praying and blessing; such as for laying on of hands and when praying for God’s protection and healing. This is especially prevalent within the African-American Christian tradition. I remember as a kid at the end of my summer visits with my grandparents, my grandmother would pray over my cousins and me with holy oil, asking God to protect us as we traveled home for the fall. Nothing was stronger than Grandma’s hands in prayer; even more so when she had her holy oil.
The couple wanted God to protect their children as their children grew to seek God. This request was an expression of their faith as they walked their faith journey as parents. They believe their role is to create space for the children to walk their faith in their own way. They wanted their children to have the freedom to choose baptism for themselves. I assured them they were not alone in this understanding. I did the same for my child and there are others who share their desire for their children.
It was a beautiful service. We filled the sanctuary at St. George’s, Glenn Dale. After we blessed the children with holy oil, we affirmed that we would be a community of compassion and care that accompanies one another in our faith journeys.
Our faith journeys are unique with various peaks and valleys, trials and tribulations, and many different ways to describe the beauty we experience. Our individual paths do not look the same yet we are all walking to get closer to the Divine…to love…to truth…to hope…to God. This is what it means to be in community with one another whether in a church or in a faith community. This type of support can be healing for those seeking a community of compassion and care.
If you, or someone you know, are interested in learning more about The Well, check out our website at www.thewellbowie.org—and if you’re interested in attending our gatherings sign up for our monthly newsletter.
